The honeymoon

As I shared my joy about Colombia in a video call with Mohammed (a former student who has lived in several countries), he reminded me that this is the honeymoon stage. He’s right. It’s early (3rd week). Everything is new, interesting, delightful. The arepas and fresh cheese are delicious for breakfast every day. Walking the hilly streets is an invigorating workout. The rain is game of guessing when to bring the clothes in from the line. The bat in our room is a delightful fright. And, I can't wait to try all of the many varieties of avocados and mangos at the market!

A home to adore

I sit in a building made 180 years ago of sticks, mud, straw, and cow dung with a white coat of paint that brightens the room and seals the thick walls. In the center of this house is a courtyard that is cared for, yet also allowed to grow as it wishes, blurring the lines between "inside" and "outside."

This home has welcomed generations of artists, musicians, travelers, and dreamers…If these walls could talk! Luz, our host, is their voice, telling of the dream for a collective community, the hey day as a hub for traveling musicians – including the Von Trapp family (of Sound of Music fame)! She alludes to some of the adventures of the 60s, the pain and despair of the late 80s & 90s and refusing to have any part of relations with Pablo Escobar (who is from the neighborhood). Also of lives cut short by senseless violence. Luz shared the journey of how the house came to be hers and the center of the intentional community of 90 homes. Neighbors still share with each and resist the alure of tall exclusive gates that would separate them from their neighborhood.

Two pianos, a guitar, and plenty of artwork grace the living room, a space made for entertaining...when one can entice people out of the kitchen! As we gather with her family and friends, we sit at the long table in the kitchen, with benches on each side accommodating growing or shrinking groups. Conversations around that table have treated me to better knowing the country, this home, this family, and I am in awe.

Meta moment

Let's zoom out for a minute to see the pattern I'm part of.

Adjusting to a new country, culture, and language has its ups and downs. "There appears to be general agreement in [the] literature that a person entering a new culture will progress through a series of states as summarized in Table 1." (Zapf, 1991) However, there are many different models floating around. Zapt charted 19 of them, and that just goes through 1991!

In a quick internet search for "cultural adjustment curve" numerous graphs appear. I am fond of the one Williams (1999) developed looking at change generally, as it shows some nuance.

While I landed here with excitement and now feel like I'm on the honeymoon, that's not everyone's experience. Some have rough landings that leave them numb and in disbelief.  Also, Williams makes it clear that long term adjustment is not guaranteed.

However, between the honeymoon and long-term adjustment, the line is likely to look a lot more like a heart rate monitor than a singular clean down and up slope. I found a thesis in which they had students draw their own charts! I love the resulting variability of their designs (Jansen, 2015).

I don't know yet what my trajectory will look like; it's just week 3 and I'm still in awe.  

The flowers, the fabulous host family, the affordable (for me) food…so many places to explore. I’ll take this awe for as long it lasts.

References

Zapf, M. K. (1991). Cross-cultural transitions and wellness: Dealing with culture shock. International journal for the advancement of counselling, 14(2), 105-119.

Williams, D. (1999). Human responses to change. Futures, 31(6), 609-616. https://www.eoslifework.co.uk/futures.htm

Jansen, E. (2015). Beyond The Honeymoon Phase: A Comparative Analysis of Culture Shock Experienced by Dutch and American Students Abroad (Master's thesis).

^in order in which they were referenced

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Written Nov 23, 2022; edited and posted Jan 6, 2023